The Best of Comebacks and Insults

Ever been insulted and didn’t have a good comeback so you just stood there, opening and closing your mouth like a goldfish? Or wished you could say something to actually shock someone into shutting up for good? Well here are some of the (I think) best comebacks and insults I’ve ever heard so far.

Sorry…saying something you learned from Dora the Explorer is not an insult.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

You’re fired.

Let’s play horse. I’ll be the front end and you be yourself.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

Shut your mouth for once. Honestly..your voice is literally making me sick.

Pardon me, but you’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

Your features don’t seem to know the importance of team work.

I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was

Fighting on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

Please just shut up. How did you even get here anyway? Did someone leave your cage open?

I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.

I may be fat but you are ugly, and I can lose weight.

I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped.

I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high.

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

And my favourite..

What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Feel free to add some more